Calvin Klein Billboard - How Do We Stop It?

By now many of you have seen or heard about the provocative Calvin Klein billboard that is in New York. The one with 3 boys and 1 girl (all appear to be late teens, maybe early 20's)...engaging in...well...PDA. PDA=Public Display of Affection. No, I will not be posting the picture here.

In this case it is PDA gone way-over-board.

Yes, most of us over 40 remember the Brooke Shields commercial of yesteryear when she says "You want to know what comes between me and my Calvins? Nothing." It was cutting edge cute at the time. Today it would be quite tame.

There is particular outrage amongst Mothers...both those who see it in person, and those of us on the Internet. In this world of trying to protect our children, especially our daughters, we are disgusted by this "promotion" of sex...add to that the connotation of sex with multiple partners.

So what can we do about it?

First off...if your kids have seen the billboard in any way, talk to them about it. Hopefully they will find it as inappropriate as you do. Keep in mind the age of your child when getting into detail. The younger they are, the more general you should be.

Second...call Calvin Klein. That's right...tell them how you really feel. 1-866-513-0513

Third...stop buying Calvin Klein. I've now heard of Father's Day gifts being returned, because they were a Calvin Klein branded item. I've also heard others say they are no longer buying CK items at all.

Fourth...let's ask ourselves why our society is driven to think that this kind of advertising is OK, and why do advertisers think this is what we want to see to entice us to buy their brand?

And finally...let's hope our children grow up and change the face of this kind of advertising for future generations.

Teenage Dating in Today's World

Let me be honest...this is something I've been "fearing" since my kids were little...the age when they are old enough to date. And since all 3 are so close in age I am now at the height of anxiety, as all 3 are dating!

*deep breath*

They have all discovered that dating can be pretty expensive. For two to play two games of bowling it is near $30! To see a movie it will probably run a couple close to $30 as well, by the time you figure in the tickets, beverages and snacks. And while it was traditional in the past for the boy to pay for everything, we believe that dating can be a shared expense. As long as both people contribute somewhat equally, I think it takes a huge pressure off the whole dating scene.

With kids starting to date at a younger age, there is also a transportation issue. They either don't have their license yet, or they are still in a restriction period of not being able to drive anyone else around that is not a family member. And there are plenty of us parents who just won't allow our child to ride with a newbie driver. Parents don't have/want to take the time to drive kids back and forth every weekend.

Solution...the kids hang out at each other's houses. Our main rule is there must be at least one parent home, and they must stay on the main levels, no bedrooms. Most of the time it turns into watching a movie(or 2), playing video games, foosball, shooting pool, or board games. And yes, sometimes they actually hang out in the same room as us *gasp*...we must be somewhat cool then, right?

This solution actually helps bring my anxiety level down. We know where the kids are, what they're doing, and we get to know their friends better. It's a win-win for everyone.

Of course my anxiety level will go back up a little this weekend...we have invited a young man over who wants to date one of our daughters. If he passes our "tests" we will probably allow them to see each other outside of school. Haven't asked hubby yet if he'll be sharpening his Battle Ax when the young lad arrives...oh yes, he really does have one ;-)

Parents should have a united front

There will be many times when you and your spouse/partner do not agree on the rules, of dating, friends, curfews, etc. It is in the best interest of everyone involved to NOT hold these 2 sided discussions in front of your teenager(s).

We have blown that rule a few times, and it only causes bitter feeling amongst the two of you.

Sometimes your opinion "wins", and sometimes it doesn't. And if the winning opinion of the other parents ends up later to not have been the right one.....you can go ahead and rub it in with a neener-neener ;-)

Dating for Moms & Dads

Prior to having our kids someone wise told us the following:

Keep your marriage strong and vibrant, remain each other's best friends. After your kids are grown and out of the house it will just be the two of you, and you don't want to be living with a stranger.

What are some ways to do that?

*Keep having dates -- if you don't have a lot of time, even once a month works. And they don't need to be long or expensive. Since we don't eat out much we make sure and have a mini-date every Sunday morning at Caribou Coffee :-)

*Communicate -- ask each other about their day. Don't assume how someone's day went, aske them. You can share in their joy, or comfort them if it was a downer kind of day.

*Have fun -- laugh and enjoy, even if silly little things. Laughing is one of THE best stress relievers!

*Compliment -- remember how good it felt when you were dating to hear even the littlest compliment on your hair, or clothing? Well, I'm pretty sure you would still feel good to hear things like this, and so would your spouse.

*Little favors -- for me, it is sometimes the act of a little favor that really makes me feel good. Now don't laugh, but emptying the dishwasher, some cleaning, changing the bedding...all save me time and are really appreciated when I've not even asked for help.

*Intimacy -- we won't get too detailed here, as I'm sure you know what I mean ;-)

*Renew your vows -- we did this for our 10th Wedding Anniversary, and our three children were our attendants. We are planning on doing it again for our 25th in a few years.

This is only a rough draft of things we have done. And there are many households where there is a single parent, or partners. We would love to hear everyone's ideas on what works for you.

Boys vs Girls

I told myself I would NOT be like my husband, and feel differently about my girls starting to date versus when our son did. But...I cannot help it, I DO!

After much thought, I think it is because we know we brought up our son to respect females. He has to live with 3 of us, so he gets a healthy dose of us every day. I would hope this helps him have a better understanding of our gender.

At the thought of our daughters dating, my husband joked he was going to buy a Battle Ax, and be sharpening it when any boy would arrive to pick a daughter up for a date LOL Guess what...he now has one. He hasn't yet had to bring it out, as only 1 daughter has dated. We know her boyfriend and family, and there is more of a calm nature in that. However, I think hubby has shown it to him in jest, to let him know it does exist.

The other day our other daughter was preparing for the musical at school. Our girls don't often wear make-up, but have to for this production. She was delighted to tell me afterwards that many of her guy friends, and other boys in the musical said she was "hot". WHAT?!?! *thud* After inquiring with many of my Mom friends from coast to coast, it appears this is the terminology the boys use now to compliment a girl's appearance.

I actually think that affected ME more than my hubby...not fair.